Understanding Our Stress Response

Stress is something we all experience, but have you ever wondered why your body reacts the way it does — why some people get angry, some shut down, and others just can’t sit still? To understand that, we need to look back — way back — to our evolutionary roots.

The Evolutionary Purpose of Stress

Thousands of years ago, our ancestors faced real, physical threats — wild animals, hunger, or danger from the environment. To survive, their brains developed an instant reaction system: when faced with threat, the body released stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to prepare for one of a few instinctive responses — fight, flight, or freeze.

Over time, another response — fawn — emerged in social species like humans, helping us survive not just physical danger, but social conflict too.

These automatic reactions once kept us safe. But in today’s world, the “threats” have changed — tight deadlines, relationship issues, or financial stress — yet our biology still reacts as if we’re being chased by a tiger.

The Four Faces of Stress

Each person’s stress response can look a little different, shaped by both biology and past experiences. Recognizing your dominant response is the first step toward managing it.

1.Fight — When You Confront the Threat

• You feel angry, irritable, or defensive

• You may try to control or argue your way through situations

• Your body feels tense — shoulders tight, jaw clenched
  

2. Flight — When You Try to Escape

• You feel anxious or restless

• You avoid people, places, or tasks

• You stay busy to outrun uncomfortable emotions
  

3. Freeze — When You Shut Down

• You feel numb or detached

• You struggle to make decisions or take action

• You withdraw emotionally or mentally
  

4. Fawn — When You Seek Safety Through People-Pleasing

• You prioritize others’ needs to avoid conflict

• You find it hard to say “no”

• You suppress your own feelings to keep the peace
  

From Reacting to Responding

These stress responses are automatic — your brain’s way of keeping you safe. But as adults, we can retrain our minds and bodies to respond differently. Awareness is the key. When you start noticing your patterns — maybe you shut down during arguments, or overwork when anxious — you gain the power to pause and choose a healthier coping strategy.

Simple tools like mindful breathing, journaling, gentle movement, or talking things out can help shift your body from “survival mode” into a calmer, more balanced state. Over time, this awareness rewires your stress response system — from reactive to resilient.